How to avoid dating a potential stalker
To dispel the misconceptions, let’s take a look at some of the universal truths about guys and breakups – some of which may surprise you since they certainly are hidden from the surface. Simple enough to say, but I know plenty of women will talk about how some guy came off like an insensitive jackass after the relationship fell apart because of his actions post-breakup.
So any interaction that a guy knows will bring him out of that sweet range of emotions is an interaction he’s going to do everything he can to avoid.Personally, I have had breakups where I pretty much went cold. I wanted her to be OK, I wanted good things for her in life, but I knew that nothing was going to make the situation better.No discussion was going to fix things, no clarity was to be had – it would have just been an emotional toilet for both of us. If no thank you isn't getting it through, it's time to consider they might not listen no matter the setting. This may seem obvious, but when put on the spot, folks forget. That person has been stalking/creeping on you, or you don't like the vibe. With supporting friends, it won't be ignored, and the creep is none the wiser. These are some video's that I think make valid points, and valid tips on self defense. I've had a lot of questions on extra things to carry in a purse, backpack or even pockets. I'd suggest printing this out on cardstock, and laminating it so you can keep it handy, and sturdy. They're cheap now, and available all over the place. A cane on the other hand, is a good prodding/poking tool. Pulling said knife out, opening it, and trying to intimidate someone who is obviously already this far along in trying to creep on you. Pepper sprays work faster, reach farther, and frankly, you are trying to defend, then retreat. The flashlight option is a must no matter what you carry. It goes into excellent detail on trusting those instincts that alert you with things are wrong. This is something I got quite a few emails and ims on, and I felt I should properly address. If you've explained the creep situation to neighbors, and you should have immediately, get on the same page with this one. It's a pain for someone who wants to creep around in darkness, to have to fight the bright light all the time. Hell, it's lovely for the neighbors who might be concerned about their own safety too. Don't let ANYONE fool you into thinking you asked for it. Charming at first, slowly making you feel bad for ignoring them. Don't buy into it, and don't ignore the obvious signs. Now, cement this by alerting friends, or even family, that if you tell someone THAT name, it's a signal. This helps you get both peace of mind, and makes sure you automatically reduce the options a potential stalker has to harass you. But do take the idea of defending yourself seriously. I've made a very simple, print friendly card for you here, should you want it. In many states in the US, and in many other places, they're a concealed weapon. You don't want to get busted yourself, while trying to help protect yourself or another. But, you have a bigger worry in flash decision situations. I would also advise you to pick up a lovely book Redditors galore here turned me on to named The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker .